Masochist

Masochist

A masochist is someone who derives pleasure, arousal, or emotional satisfaction from receiving pain. In BDSM, masochism is the “M” in S/M (sadism and masochism). When paired with a sadist who enjoys giving pain, the exchange becomes a deeply reciprocal experience for both partners.

Masochist vs. Submissive

These two roles overlap often enough that people confuse them, but they describe different things. A masochist responds to pain. A submissive responds to authority. Plenty of masochists have zero interest in kneeling, following rules, or calling anyone “Sir.” They just want to get hit. Conversely, many submissives find pain unpleasant and build their dynamics entirely around obedience and service. When someone is both a masochist and a submissive, the combination can be powerful, but the identities remain distinct.

Types of Pain

Masochists are not all chasing the same sensation. Pain play covers a broad range.

Impact pain comes from being struck. Hands, paddles, floggers, canes, and crops each produce a different quality of sensation. Some masochists prefer the deep warmth of thud. Others want the sharp bite of sting. See our impact play glossary entry for more on that distinction.

Sharp pain involves piercing, scratching, or pinching. Needle play, wartenberg wheels, and fingernails all fall here. This type tends to produce intense, focused sensation rather than the spreading warmth of impact.

Temperature pain uses heat or cold as the stimulus. Wax play, ice, and heated metal implements create sensations that blur the line between pain and intense physical awareness.

Endurance pain comes from sustained positions, tight bondage, or prolonged stimulation. The pain builds slowly rather than arriving in bursts, and many masochists describe a meditative quality to enduring it.

The Pain-Pleasure Connection

Pain triggers the body’s endorphin response. During a scene, a masochist’s nervous system floods with natural chemicals that can produce euphoria, altered consciousness, or a floating sensation often called subspace. This biochemical reaction is a big part of why pain becomes pleasurable in the right context. Without trust, consent, and the right headspace, the same physical stimulus would just hurt.

What separates BDSM masochism from self-harm is consent, context, and partnership. A masochist chooses pain within a negotiated framework, with a trusted sadist who respects limits and provides aftercare.