The question we get most often: do we need a custom-drafted BDSM contract, or is a free template enough? Honest answer: for most couples starting out, the template is enough. The point of a contract isn't to be unique. The point is to force the conversations.
The template is enough when
- You're new to writing one and want a structure to react to.
- Your dynamic is bedroom- or scene-scoped (most are, especially in the first year).
- You're going to actually read it together, line by line, and edit it.
- You're going to review it in three to six months.
Our free template covers the standard sections and is the right starting place for almost everyone.
You probably want to write your own when
- Your dynamic is 24/7 or includes living arrangements, finances, or specific household protocols.
- One partner has health conditions that need explicit clauses (epilepsy, joint conditions, medications, mental-health histories).
- The dynamic involves three or more people and you want each person's expectations spelled out.
- You've been doing this together for a while and the template starts feeling generic relative to your actual practice.
What writing a custom one looks like
Start with the template anyway. Print it. Mark up the sections that don't fit. Write your own replacements in the margins. After a week of marking it up, type a clean version. That's your first draft. The writing-your-contract guide has the long-form version of this process.
Either way, the contract is a communication tool between consenting adults. It's not legally binding. Consent is always withdrawable.